I posted a while back that I have a little son, Ben. He’s eight-months old and he is beautiful. This is my first time being a daddy and I must say that it is much more wonderful than I expected it to be.
I tend to be a bit pessimistic and over-analytical. I keep blaming it on my law training but maybe it is just me? However, when I look at this little bundle of joy (he’s crawling around my feet as I write this) I can’t help but think that the world is a good place.
I’ve also tried not to talk about him too much on this blog because he isn’t very relevant to lawyering or starting a law practice. But, as I stated in my last post, I’m going to write about what I want to write about from now on and not worry about marketing my law firm through search-engine-optimization (SEO). Ben is, however, relevant for talking about trying to have a career as a lawyer when you have little ones running about (he just climbed up the bannister by the stairs and is making happy noises at me).
So, here are the issues I am tackling right now with having Ben at home: (1) he needs a babysitter and somebody to take him there if I am going to be able to work on anything, (2) my wife is a physician at a local hospital and she is busy (3) I’m waiting on Minnesota bar exam results so practicing law is moot at this point, (4) doing legal contract work doesn’t work with a baby in the house.
Only four issues? Well, yes, but I’m not working full time right now. Of course, the over-riding issue is that having children does put a damper on the old legal career. It is tough to think straight when a little cherub is tugging your leg and wants to climb into your lap.
It is also difficult for me to say to myself that I even want to continue practicing in an adversarial field when all I want to do is keep my baby safe and away from harm. Being with Ben has the effect of taking down the every day lawyer guard (you know, the straight-faced-sober, nothing-phases-me, death-stare).
I have also talked to a number of people who know I am a lawyer starting a law firm and they will often say things like: “why don’t you just stay home and take care of Ben?”. The answer: because I can’t. I didn’t go to law school and practice for almost four years to stay at home. I know my wife didn’t go to medical school to stay at home.
So, it is going to be a learning curve. It is going to take some juggling – it already has. But, so far, it has been worth it because Ben is one of the few things I’ve done in my life that I am unequivocally proud of. I’ve made too many mistakes to count, but he is not one of them.
Now, I just have to figure out how to practice law full-time without missing him too much. I worry about that a lot. I was just talking with his baby-sitter yesterday as I dropped him off in the morning, and she made a comment that having children “is such a short time in your life.” That puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?
I know that I tend to work overtime and forget what time of day it is when I am really busy. But, now, in the back of my mind all the time is Ben. Will I miss something if I’m at the office? Will I remember to say no to that petition I need to get out? Will I go home to Ben, or will my clients be served a little better because I stayed later? All difficult questions.
But, I will tell you one thing, I am going to enjoy the journey of being a lawyer-dad (or is it dad-lawyer?). Ben certainly grounds me in a way that is elemental: he is the top priority no matter what (he just got back to me and is pulling on my ear).
If anybody has any thoughts about what they did to raise children while practicing law full-time, I would love to hear them.